the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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