I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
