My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
