Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
