Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
