I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
