you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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