when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
