Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The air was thick with penises
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
