im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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