yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
