he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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