yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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