Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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