Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
