Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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