Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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