Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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