I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
