We're like a lot better than the average bears
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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