I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
