you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
