so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize