dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
