I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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