Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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