He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
