this beer tastes like vomit already
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
