You made me cry and you don't even care
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
