Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
