i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
