I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize