Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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