apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
