You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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