Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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