You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
