oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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