she was so not down for the gang bang
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
