I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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