There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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