Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
