after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
