WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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