called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.