Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

(1-510): View more from California

you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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(858): View more from California

I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.

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(303): View more from Colorado

idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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(703): View more from Virginia

As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(828): View more from North Carolina

i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed

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(619): View more from California

Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!

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(906): View more from Michigan

Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.

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