How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!