Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila