While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf