cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
