you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.