hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize