You really coming over, don't trick.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
