Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
