Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
