Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
