I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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