Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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