This girl is more easily done than said...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
